Some of the Most Important Lessons I've Learned

 I don't know as much about my mother and father's back ground as I would like. Every time that I tried to get some information I felt like they told me the same stories over and over. My mom played sports...she loved sports...mostly basketball...she was the peace maker in her home growing up. My dad played baseball and was in the navy. He always responded to my questions with "Why do you want to know? Are you writing a book or something"
Wellll...maybe. Fortunately, I have 4 sisters and between all of us asking questions we have a sketchy look into their upbringing and early years of marriage.

 We seem to easily remember the things that have made it into "the file of important events" in our memory cabinet but other things have to be triggered. And if you don't know the right questions to ask its like anticipating a day of shopping at the big sale and coming home empty-handed.

I have a "Mother's Legacy" book that I have been writing  in for my children and grandchildren. It has provoking questions to help me write down my life in a nutshell. So far it's been a good trigger for those memories that I've buried. Some pleasant..some not so pleasant, but all in all good for me to relive. I've had some "ah ha" moments about myself and the way I react or respond to current events in my life. And, o boy, my kids and grandkids will "get" to have a record of my oh so eventful life!

I was rather excited when I came to the page that said... Recall for me some of the most important lessons you have learned from life.

WOW really? The invisible interviewer of my book actually wants to know what I've learned the hard way. I mean come on! Who doesn't want to shout from the rooftop "I GET IT! Gather around so I can tell you what not to do!"

As I enthusiastically pondered this challenge I came up with 10 things.

So...aren't you lucky...if you are reading this you too will get to contemplate some of my life's lesson......I think I will definitely need some feedback.

Some of the most important lessons I've learned:

 1. No one knows what you are thinking, so don't expect them to know. Express yourself about how you are feeling or what you are expecting.
2. In  alot of cases some people don't have a clue if they just hurt you or offended you. Think the best of people and extend grace and forgive. You've probably done the same thing to someone.
3. God loves us soooo much. He is not trying to squelch our fun!
4. To the best of your ability make people feel welcomed and loved.
5. Some body language can be harmful to you and to others.
6.You really do reap what you sow.
7. Listen and hear what someone is really saying. It takes getting your focus off of yourself.
8. Everyone wants to be loved and accepted. Selfishness is the enemy and he wears camouflage.
9. What you call annoying can be someones insecurity.
10. Moms and dads are just people too.
Although I could come up with so many more life lessons and even have categories to file them under, these ten "commandments"encompass an array of morals to my stories and life experiences. I just might write about how I came up with each of these. Hmmm good idea, Peg. Give me 10 months to do it :)

Seize the Day!

O well, I"ve done it again. I've waited a whole 2 months to write. Where does the time go? I look at all my friend's posts and wonder "how do they find time?" Even my daughter-in-law started writing again with a new baby, not to mention my young friend who home schools her 3 boys with a baby girl on her hip. She writes everyday, I think. I am a grandmother who works part-time and no children at home. I think (I know) I waste a lot of time.
I just read my daily devotional. The title was Carpe Diem: Seize the Day! Ok so I'm trying to apply what I just read.
At age 60 an amazing thing happens. You start to ask yourself what would my bucket list consist of, what adventures can I embark on or what new thing can I try out (like writing :)) Actually, these questions have  been slowly evolving since my kids left our home 10 years ago. My husband and I turned and looked at each other for the first time after 20 years as our boys embarked on their adventure towards starting their own families.
Don't get me wrong. I knew the day was coming when my boys would fly the coop and these two turtle doves would be left wondering what happened and what to do after 20 years of being comforter, provider, question answerer, sports enthusiast, teacher, medical assistant, religious scholar, leader, public relations director, trip advisor, money manager, chauffeur, and anything else you can think of playing the all encompassing roll as a parent. We actually started praying about this when our boys were in their teen years at the prompting of comments I had heard from my older women friends about how hard it was when their children left home. And ...my husband and I had our monthly date nights to keep in touch with each other.
But its a shock when it actually happens and you realize how much time and energy you have invested in your children and family. You have fully identified yourself as MOTHER and wife and now you have become an adult friend to your children and husband. It feels very awkward.
Somehow you figure out through painful trial and error how to do it.  I have had to find out who I really am and how does a MOTHER transition into a FRIEND. And  what I am good at besides high expectations and giving advice? Hmmm I think I mentioned trying to figure that out in my 40's  in my blog post Turning 60. Parenting kept me motivated to keep learning, keep caring, keep dying to myself for the sake of those young ones. No one was born already knowing how to be a parent or any job title we choose. It was the career I chose and I wanted to be good at it.
Now it is just him and me. And guess what... you keep learning, you keep caring and you keep dying to yourself for the sake of your lover. And we are doing it together; making a bucket list, embarking on new adventures, and trying new things (like smart phones  :) ) I want to finish well and I want to be the best wife, companion and friend.

Yes! Carpe Diem! Seize the day! 

We Did It, Charlie Brown

                Welcome grandmas and grandpas, gogos and granddads, marmees and macs, omas and opas, mi mis, lu lus, ya yas, papas and pops to the first ever gorgeous grandma Christmas pageant!
                               Introducing                   26                         fabulous grandchildren!

Would you believe the gorgeous grandmas pulled off a Christmas pageant with 26 of their grandchildren, most of whom were under the age of 8? The infamous Grandma Lu Lu had a great idea to reenact the very same pageant she did so many years ago with her own children. I have to admit after the first rehearsal I wondered if Lu Lu was going to go over the edge! 15 children ranging between 2 and 6 can be a little chaotic.

We had about 4 rehearsals before the big performance running through the program at least 2 times each time. The first one always went pretty well but the second one was full of nose picking, toe nail biting, poking, pushing, wiggles, giggles and potty breaks. All in all Lu Lu stayed focus teaching and instructing on where to stand, when was your cue, singing LOUDER , and stand up, sit down.

Each grandma made sure their grandchildren had the appropriate costume for their part. Then the dress rehearsal! adorable! Shepherds and kings, Mary and Joseph, angels and stars! Tu tus and robes, gifts and staffs! Good job grandmas!

What an absolute blessing to be able to see your children's children and your very close friends children's children come together to be a community of friendships that keep on through the generations. I am so glad I started the gorgeous grandma club 6 years ago. It has kept our friendships close, our smiles big and being a grandparent quite fulfilling.

Summer Days

Ahhhhh! Summer! Lazy days, watermelon, swimming, sunburns, weekly reader, homemade ice cream and HEAT...HOT HOT HOT. Geez I remember growing up in Phx where we ran around all day with no shoes. The sidewalks were so hot they say you could fry an egg on them! But we did it anyway...skipping from yard to walk or any patch of grass we could find yelping ouch! ouch! ouch! all the way to the Circle K on the corner. It was worth it, though, looking for pop bottles we could turn into the store to buy penny candy: black licorice, bazooka, and red hot fireballs. After the clerk assessed our finds and made a fair exchange we hopped and ran home cramming as many sticks of black licorice into our mouths as we could at one time. Our teeth and tongue would be blaaaaaack! The finish line was a mad dash into the back yard and a jump into the pool. Then it was a race to see who could hold their breath the longest under water or who could swim down to the drain and back up the fastest.  At the end of the day we would come inside with sunburned shoulders and a bright red nose.
 Oooo those were the days....I sound like someones grandma! penny candy, pop bottles, weekly readers?
I can't believe how time flys. My childhood is becoming more vague as I get older and the freshest memories are when my children were little. You are a child for such a small part of your life. If we only could of grasped that then, we probably wouldn't have been in such a hurry to grow up.
The Bible tells us to come as a little child into the Kingdom of God. Why do you suppose He requests that of us? Could it be the trusting faith that a small child has and the full dependence on his guardian? Or is it the joy that comes with being  free from responsibility! Maybe its because we are wide-eyed and full of wonder, ever so curious and teachable.... Maybe its because our countenance is so adorable and peaceful...maybe its because we love unconditionally.Could it be that we are less inhibited...we will sing or dance or draw a picture with no critical afterthought.

God knew when He created us that these first years of life would be a model for us to believe, trust and love a Heavenly Father. He says He can do all things. Nothing is too difficult for Him. What is impossible with men is possible with God. He will never leave us or forsake us. Can I believe Him? The One who got down on His knees and shaped man from the dust of the earth and then breathed life into him? Every other created thing was spoken but God knelt down and formed man, then gave man his very life through His own breath.  He is the epitome of a Father. What  your earthly father was unable to give Jesus can more than give you.  Help me to be as a little child.

My children are grown but I now have grandchildren to remind me of a small child's innocent attributes. With much patience, love and just the enjoyment of delighting in their very presence, I understand more this time around about how the Father sees me. I do not get angry when my grandchildren throw a fit or don't share or look at me with that "I didn't do it" look. I just redirect and then mostly smile and think to myself about the preciousness of their very existence and their responses to my overwhelming love for them. I've built a relationship with them and they can trust me, love me and just have fun with me. I am never disappointed in their behaviour or their attempts to vie for my attention. I just plain love them. I can see the unique gifts and talents already revealing themselves through their play and interests and encourage them in that direction. It is God's beautiful opportunity to remind me of His love and relationship with me!

Matt. 19:14 "Let the little children come to Me, and do not forbid them; for of such is the kingdom of heaven"
1 Kings 3:7b ... I am a little child; I do not know how to go out or come in. 3:9 Therefore give Your servant an understanding heart to judge Your people, that I may discern between good and evil."

Turning 60

This birthday I will be turning 60. Oh my! It makes me feel like a real grandma. But you know 60 is the new 40! I loved my 40's! It was the best decade of my life thus far.
I've talked to many women who didn't like turning 30, 40, 50 or 60! For me 30 was hard because at the time I was out shopping with my 16 year old niece. The body image in the mirror, as we tried on clothes,  was already manifesting its age. Ha! Ha! I laugh now. What was it I saw? It couldn't have been anything like what I see in the mirror now!
At 40 my husband threw me a surprise birthday party. The restaurant was filled with many of our long time friends and I was absolutely surprised when I walked in the door. So surprised I almost threw up. I really don't like surprises at all! Shouldn't he know that by now? Part of the party plan was to take video shots of friends sharing stories of my relationship with them over the years. When I reviewed the clips after the party  I had a shocking eye-opener! Almost every story( not all but most) were more about my husband and "Our" relationship with "Our" friends than about me and my relationships. Mrs. Introvert was there in the shadow of her Mr. Extrovert, relational, life-of-the party husband ...I love that guy! Well it opened my eyes for the good! My 40's was a decade of discovering myself and my talents. I was not going to have another birthday without me knowing who I was or without You knowing who I am, for that matter.

 By the time I turned 50 I was ready to plan my own party with 50 girlfriends, a karaoke machine and just a whole lot of fun. With the help of a couple of friends(Anita and Pam, my headlight dancin buddies) we actually pulled it off. We dressed up in 50's costume and danced and sang...just us girls, all night long.

Turning 60... I don't have any plans yet. I'm leaning more towards visiting my son in NC that week. He's having his first child in Dec. and just started a new job. I want to see my daughter-in-law in her first months of pregnancy. I want to see where they live. It's going to be hard having a long distance relationship with my newest grandchild. I haven't had to do that yet. Turning 60...I think I am more like a grandma....but I still love to dance, have fun, hang out with my girlfriends and just live life! For now... I still have 10 weeks and 3 days left to be 59! Happy dance!!!

One Million Pillow Cases

I've heard of pillow case dresses for little girls in Africa, but my gorgeous grandma friend, grandma D.(first one on the right) shared about an opportunity to send pretty pillow cases to people in Africa or to any charity you are interested in:
Visit this tutorial for supplies and step by step instructions!
:http://youtu.be/MrYWCma9wgM
Here's how we made them:

We got together one more time and made more because it was so easy and so much fun!

Good job, Gorgeous Grandmas!

The Opposite of Love is not Hate

Just because you believe something to be true does not make it true. Our culture plays an enormous role on what we decide is truth and what we decide is acceptable. Untruth plays no role in a culture of indifference.

Love is.......You fill in the blank. It would probably range from anything starting with an "a" to a "z". How about Aunt Betty, boyfriend, chocolate, dog, etc., farming, grandchildren, and so on. It is usually based on how we feel about those things. It if makes me feel good it must be love!
Is love a verb, an adjective, adverb or noun? Mmmmm maybe you would argue that it is all of them. I know one thing..it is not in itself a feeling. It certainly can bring good feelings and pain. In fact, pain is what enables us to know the incredible joy and freedom when love gives those good feelings. But love is a commitment and out of the commitment comes the
feelings.
Marriage, children, relationships in general, what's good for our bodies and minds, our community as a whole and our world can depend on how we view love.
If it is based on what makes me feel good it will run its own course only to lead to selfishness and ultimately destruction (divorce, disease, lawlessness, addiction). If it is a commitment based on caring for others and myself it will create a  freeing expression of self worth.

I don't think anyone will argue that when I choose to serve someone else or care for someone it ultimately comes back as that good feeling. But what if I have to speak into someones life who is making poor choices or withhold a privilege because someone has wandered off the path, or express my concern knowing that person will not agree and even hold it against me, then the feeling can be painful even to the point of questioning myself. Did I do the right thing, who am I to tell someone else what to do?
The check list is....  did I do it out of love?
 Love cares, love wants the best, love is ready to lay its reputation on the line, love sacrifices.
The opposite of love is indifference.(why should I get it involved, its their life, its not hurting anyone)

I'll never understand why people don't accept the sacrifice Jesus did on the cross. He did it out of love for us. Why wouldn't anyone want to trust someone who would love so much He would die?  It wasn't indifference for Him.