The Opposite of Love is not Hate

Just because you believe something to be true does not make it true. Our culture plays an enormous role on what we decide is truth and what we decide is acceptable. Untruth plays no role in a culture of indifference.

Love is.......You fill in the blank. It would probably range from anything starting with an "a" to a "z". How about Aunt Betty, boyfriend, chocolate, dog, etc., farming, grandchildren, and so on. It is usually based on how we feel about those things. It if makes me feel good it must be love!
Is love a verb, an adjective, adverb or noun? Mmmmm maybe you would argue that it is all of them. I know one thing..it is not in itself a feeling. It certainly can bring good feelings and pain. In fact, pain is what enables us to know the incredible joy and freedom when love gives those good feelings. But love is a commitment and out of the commitment comes the
feelings.
Marriage, children, relationships in general, what's good for our bodies and minds, our community as a whole and our world can depend on how we view love.
If it is based on what makes me feel good it will run its own course only to lead to selfishness and ultimately destruction (divorce, disease, lawlessness, addiction). If it is a commitment based on caring for others and myself it will create a  freeing expression of self worth.

I don't think anyone will argue that when I choose to serve someone else or care for someone it ultimately comes back as that good feeling. But what if I have to speak into someones life who is making poor choices or withhold a privilege because someone has wandered off the path, or express my concern knowing that person will not agree and even hold it against me, then the feeling can be painful even to the point of questioning myself. Did I do the right thing, who am I to tell someone else what to do?
The check list is....  did I do it out of love?
 Love cares, love wants the best, love is ready to lay its reputation on the line, love sacrifices.
The opposite of love is indifference.(why should I get it involved, its their life, its not hurting anyone)

I'll never understand why people don't accept the sacrifice Jesus did on the cross. He did it out of love for us. Why wouldn't anyone want to trust someone who would love so much He would die?  It wasn't indifference for Him.

cupcake in a jar- a perfect valentine gift

The grandmas got together to make cupcakes in a jar. I thought it sounded quite clever and besides I have so many canning jars that I have collected over the years. I'm not doing much canning these days so why not cupcakes in a jar. Some of the reviews were quite negative...why bother...whats wrong with a cupcake liner.....who wants to take the time to go to all that trouble.
It was no trouble and in fact it was quite easy. A great idea for a valentines gift for someone you love.
There are several web sites you can go to to get all kinds of inspirations. Martha Stewart even has a cheese cake in a jar. It was my favorite.
For a cupcake in jar you will need one cake mix prepared according to directions. Icing of your choice and a canning jar. You can bake the cupcake in the jar in the oven which takes about 45 minutes at 350 or you can pop it into the microwave for 2 mins. The microwave version helps to retain the color of the cake mix and still remains moist and delicious. I prefer this method.
After the cupcake cools slightly scoop out about half of the cake. Spread icing inside the jar on top of the cake and then add the scooped out cake back in. Spread again with icing and then decorate.

This cupcake has a layer of nutella and a layer of cheese cake frosting over red velvet cake.
Attach a spoon to the side and cover with cellophane. Add a bow and you have a sweet treat for a friend.
Cupcakes can actually be mailed if they arrive in 3 days.

To make a cheese cake in a jar you need :

• 8 oz. cream cheese, room temp
• 1/2 cup of sugar
• 3 large eggs, room temp
• 4 oz. sour cream, room temp
• 1 tbl lemon juice fresh
• 1/4 tsp salt
• 1/2 cup preserves
•  graham topping- 4 graham crackers ground and 1 1/2 tbl. butter melted

Preheat oven to 325. Beat cream cheese til smooth,add sugar. Beat on high for 3mins.
add one egg at a time on low speed. Add sour cream, lemon juice, and salt. Beat for 3 mins.
Divide batter in 6- 6oz jars. Put jars in deep baking dish and add boiling water to the baking dish about half way up the jar. Put a piece of aluminum foil with 8 slits on top over jars and baking dish.
Bake for 25 mins or until center is set. Let cool. Refrigerate overnight to set.
Stir grahams and butter together and spread on baking sheet covered with parchment paper.
Cook at 325 for 10mins and let cool.

Top each cheesecake with a little more than a tbl of preserves, then graham topping. Can be refrigerated up to 4 days.

 My grandma friend "YaYa" tried making a pie in a jar. Ya Ya is an expert pie maker and suggested not to waste your time making it in a jar. Reasons why....manipulating the dough too much makes for a tough crust and not much room for the filling which makes it a crusty pie. Thanks Ya Ya for saving thousands of "ya ya's" from "pie in a jar" frustration!

All in all cupcakes in a jar are a fun way to give a unique gift to someone you love. Hey your kids and grandkids can help make them too!

tomatoes all winter long

I'm really not the best gardener. In fact, I dubbed myself the lazy gardener. I love having a garden. My favorite part...picking the fruit of my labor. "Of my labor" that's the part where I have assigned the adjective "lazy". I don't know why once you pull weeds they don't stay away, why you have to retill the ground after each harvest, and why do you have to fight with aphids and birds and other crawling kinds of things that enjoy munching on your hard work?! O yea and composting. Whats wrong with just throwing everything into a pot and leaving it? Why do you have to turn it and keep it moist? My true confessions? That's the way I do things! 

I leave my compost to do its own thing, I do pull weeds when the Spirit moves me and usually my husband is the one who tills the ground. If I have a problem with birds, I whine to my husband and bugs and things can eat as much as they like:) Hey, my garden does alright. I still am reaping tomatoes this winter.

In Arizona you can garden pretty much all year round. But I have never been able to continue to pick tomatoes in the winter. I do believe God likes me. He has prospered my garden despite my "laziness". I have had more volunteer plants(ones you don't plant yourself) come up than I know what to do with...tomatoes, flowers, melons and such. Its really quite amazing. I look out my window and smile at the garden despite my lack of care.

I wish I was more into detail, more of a person of excellence. I wish my garden was perfect so when visitors came over they would say" O My! How beautiful is your garden!" But I'm not.

 In the Song of Solomon, a book in the Bible, the garden  represents our hearts. This is a book that draws us into an understanding of our love relationship with Jesus.  In chapter 4 :16 it says" Awake, o north winds, And come o south! Blow upon my garden. That its spices may flow out. Let my beloved come to his garden and eat its pleasant fruit. "

You see, we all have a garden to keep. Its our hearts. We have weeds that need to be pulled, we have soil that needs to be tilled and we have pests that want to come in and destroy the tenderness of our fruit.

We need to feed and nurture our garden with good food so we will flourish and produce more good fruit.

Of course, the beautiful part is you can have a Master gardener who can perfect your garden even if you aren't so gifted in that area. He knows when to send the cold north winds(times of trial and testing) and when to bring the warm south winds(times of growth and fruit). He knows how to release the hidden aromas of your heart so all will reap the benefits of your fruit. He desires a place to come into your garden to sit with you and enjoy you. He delights in you! He will partner with you to create a beautiful garden! Whew! I don't have to be perfect, He is. I don't have to be all that excellent, He is! Because Jesus is jealous for you He will pursue you passionately so that He will have a place to dwell. All He desires is a volunteer lover.

"You who dwell in the gardens, the companions listen for your voice-Let me hear it! song of solomon 8:13 

Its a Mystery!

Its been 2 years ago now that I decided to have a mystery dinner for the grandma club. I went with a fairy tale mystery, "Mystery in the Library" by Stephanie Chambers taken from the web site merrimysteries.com.  This was my son's suggestion after successfully throwing his own mystery dinner.

The website gives you all the suggestions you need to make your dinner a complete success; from decorations, to costume ideas and menu items.

Each couple that was invited was given the name of a  fairy tale character and had to come to the party in costume. We had a sit down dinner of which each couple brought a delectable contribution. We had poison caramel to dip our apples in (Snow White), a main course of sausage and potatoes( Robin Hood), and a dessert cake that said "Eat Me" on it(Alice in Wonderland) just to name a few of the delicious menu items.
There was, of course, a character who committed a crime. As each  character took turns reading their part in the play and adding a little ad lib throughout the 4 course meal, clues were being revealed. At the end of the play anyone could guess who the criminal was! The correct answer took home a grand prize! Well maybe just a prize.

 

It was fun and delicious! The best part of the evening was answering the door to the surprise of seeing each of our friends who had transformed themselves into playful, magnificent fairy tale characters!

And by the way...the butler didn't do it!

Check it off the List, Please!

Who doesn't love a check list. There's something about marking off that chore, that duty, that errand, that event that is so satisfying.

When my 2 boys were little I met a woman who had 6 children. Each Sunday they would trek across the church campus all dressed alike in their Sunday best....the tallest and oldest at the front down to the little one, appropriately a girl, delicate and small compared to her 5 older brothers. . Mama duck and her ducklings following behind in waddle fashion. She was beautiful, her husband was handsome and her kids were groomed and immaculate. You couldn't help but ask "how does she do it?" Well that was a question that never was fully answered, but she did share with some of us about her infamous job board!

Definition of job board- a handmade schedule organizer with adorable pictures of jobs to be completed by each child

I dug out the old photo copies and the instructions I used to create the job board so long ago for my 2 young sons. I called my friend (archive blog post- friends that last a lifetime) and asked her if she remembered us making those boards together.

"Of course!" she said, " I've already given the photo copies to my girls and they are cleaning them up and updating them for their kids!"

Perfect! Lucky me....I was able to glean from those young girls efforts to upgrade the photos. Thank you girls!

Of course the gorgeous grandmas got together and came up with some of their own versions of the job board!

If you would like to see the tutorial on how to make the job board go to my blog list and click on my friends  blog spot "Cultivated Lives" Then click on her archives tutorial for job board!

No Greater Love

It was one of those fun nights watching, playing with, indulging in one of those "no, you can't have that now" desserts, bathing and tucking in those adorable grandchildren of ours. Babysitting  was never my favorite job as a young teenager. I made money and that was the extent of my motivation to spend time with little children. But babysitting my grandchildren!..nothing compares to their unconditional love ...or (wait...)maybe it is conditional based on one of those "no, you can't have that now "desserts :)

After granddad prayed for each grandchild and tucked them in to bed, our grandson asked if Go Go would come in. Of course! He never wanted me in there before, just granddad. Granddad did it right,...the routine:) I gingerly bounded (oxy-moron?) into the room and sat on the edge of my grandson's bed. My granddaughter standing up in her crib was watching, checking out what would happen next.

"Go Go? Why does granddad say in Jesus Name?"

Because he is praying for you.

"Who is Jesus?"

You know who Jesus is.

"Is He like Go Go or granddad?"

O, I smiled when he said that, but I knew Jesus was nothing like me or granddad.

No, He's better than a Go Go or a granddad! He loves you very much and gave his life for you.

My 4 year old grandson somehow had compared his grandparents love for him with the person of Jesus. Does that bless me...yes ,but  I know there is a battle with a selfish strong man inside of me of which Jesus overcame at the cross. How do you explain that to a little child. I guess it doesn't matter. Our daily lives allow Mr. Strongman to raise his ugly head more often than we would like and creates a teachable moment  to show how and why we surrender to the One who defeated that strongman.  Jesus reminds us by his Holy Spirit that He is love. I pray that this is who my grandson sees in his grandparents.... a transformed life through Jesus Christ.

 Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends. John 15:13

Thank you Jesus

Can an Old Dog Learn New Tricks

Who hasn't  heard the phrase "Can an old dog learn new tricks"? Applying this phrase to man's best friend, I'm sure we all have nodded our heads or sighed with hopelessness.  If you believe this for a dog you might just be correct, but the other side of the coin is applying this saying to a person. Have you ever used it to describe that stubborn somebody in your life or maybe you have used it as an excuse for your own bad behaviour.! I confess I have.  Have you ever said " That's just the way I am" or "that's the way I was raised" How about  "If my parents hadn't gotten a divorce" or "He'll always be irresponsible. Everyone bails him out" No doubt, there are things that have traumatic lifetime affects on us. Some circumstances of life do not lend to the ingredients that develop emotional and social wholeness.
 I have good news..  there is Hope for all of us.  An "old dog" CAN learn new tricks!...enter a man.... A God Man.... a supernaturally natural man who can transform lives!
Jesus came to set the captives free....He's not kidding.. this is not a joke or a great idea someone came up with...this is Truth!
It is a simple opportunity that can lend to a life time of wholeness, loving others and enjoying life....having someone to lean on when things get tough.

Jesus is not an instant formula to our character flaws but he does say in Roman 12:2 to be transformed by the renewing of our minds. His Word, the Bible, gives us Truth about who we really are. Colossians 3:10 tells us we can be renewed to the True Knowledge of the One who created us. I don't know how it all works but I do  know that when I surrender that part of me that is selfish and self-seeking and I tell Him I want to change He does it! In His perfect timing He changes my sinful behaviour into a compassionate understanding for others. Somehow He removes my desire for "my own way" and gives me a compassion and love for "His way" which always leads to Life in me and those around me. Thank you Jesus that I do not have to stay in my destructive unhappy habits.

I have heard that you can change a habit in 21 days or maybe its 6 weeks. I'm sure that could be true. But the difference is that when you do something in your own will power it is very likely to be temporal. When Jesus changes me it is eternal. He said the kingdoms of this world are now the kingdoms of our Lord and His Christ; and He will reign forever and ever, Revelation 11:15

So receive Him and what He has done for you and let Him transform your life into something way beyond what you can think or imagine!